It has been documented by many theorists that between the ages of 12 and 15, adolescents experience more frequent mood swings and experience feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness, loneliness and often, depression. Although this stage in their development is temporary, it obviously has some side-effects, like a peak in parent-child conflict. Teenagers at this stage will push boundaries. This can cause a great deal of tension in the home and a very unpleasant environment to be in, for both the child and the parent. Below, are some signs to know when your teenager might need counselling; a list provided by Joy Hartman.
Here are some signs that it might be time to seek the advice of a professional:
1. Home, school, or community struggles
• Has their behaviour in one or more of these areas changed dramatically?
• Has their school performance changed?
• Are they under more stress than usual?
• Are they getting grades that are out of the norm?
• Are they moody and miserable at home?
• Are they getting in trouble at school or in the community?
• Are they avoiding school or community?
2. Change of friends
• Is your teen no longer hanging out with friends or have they changed friend groups completely?
• Are they avoiding all social functions recently?
• Are they angry at all of their friends?
• Hanging with new friends?
• No friends?
3. Angry and irritable
• Is your teen more irritable and quicker to anger than they used to be?
• Is anger or irritability starting to affect their life?
• Is the anger preventing them from functioning?
• Could they be at risk of hurting themselves or someone else because of the anger or moodiness?
4. Excessive worry
• Is worrying stopping them from doing things?
• Is worrying about school and grades so overwhelming that they are in tears?
• Is worrying affecting his/her sleep or mood?
5. Dramatic changes in sleep habits
• Are they sleeping much more, or much less?
• Always tired?
• Choosing to sleep in the middle of the day or always needs a nap?
• Sleeping instead of doing something they once found fun?
6. Self-destructive behaviour
• Cutting?
• Drinking?
• Drugs?
• Excessive risk taking?
• Do they not seem to feel pain?
7. Talking about death or thinking about it often
• Is your teen obsessed with death?
• Is he/she talking about or thinking about hurting himself or someone else? If so, call for help immediately.
If the decision is still not clear, the best way to determine if your teen could benefit from counselling is to ask them. Ask if they think it would be helpful to talk to someone. You don’t have to go into a lot of details or even have a clear idea about what he/she wants to talk to a therapist about. Try questions like: “Are you overwhelmed?” “Would it be helpful to talk to a counsellor?” “Would you be willing to give therapy a try?”
Your child may know that it’s time. Or maybe they just needed to know it’s an option. By asking if they’d like to see a therapist, you’re showing your teen that there’s no stigma or shame in trying counselling
Resources:
https://www.parent.com/does-my-teen-need-therapy-7-signs-from-a-psychotherapist/
https://www.relate.org.uk/blog/2015/6/13/how-do-i-know-if-my-teenager-needs-counselling
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/child-and-adolescent-issues